Blood Neko Kawaii High: Death and Life
by Morphimus
Summary: This is a fanfic for a comic called "Ominous Intimidating Cadavers" by Captain Driad. It is also guaranteed to be the worst thing I've ever written, and possibly the worst thing you'll ever read. You have been warned. Cover image by Citizen Abel.
1. Chapter 1

it was a sensuous day on earth wen Death came down one day. the sun was shinning on the sky and all the clouns were bright and like all pink like ing the sky and love was in the air!

Death awoke form slpeeping and rolled out of her bed she was as gorgeous as a pop star which she has always aspired to be. Hir baeautiful pink hair was messy from morning bedhead. she was wearing a pretty pink pajamas with frilly white lace  
she looked over to her clock and saw the numbers

8:48 AM

aaaahhh! im going to be late for scool!

So she hurridly put on her serafuku and sexy pink tophat and ran out the door of her room

up late again? hahah

SHUT UP MOM! YOU NEVER UNDERSAND ME!

haha here's your lunch honey dont forget to have good grades!

ok i will

she ran out the door holding a peice of bread in her mouth and holding her kawaii pink bento box under her arm. Death ran down the streen past houses of her classmates and ran up the stairs into the scool wen suddenly a man jumped out infront of the door  
it was satan. a goth kid from her class who alwasy causes trouble

Hello Death chan  
*he adjustes his tie*

GET OUT OF mY WAY u goth poser FREAK! my bf is God and hes gona kick ur ass if u dont MOVE NOW!

Oh come on Death chan all you ever do is shun me away. why r u so cold bby?

im not cold UR THE ONE WHOS COLD! DONT THINK I WONT REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO MY IN 6FH GRADE! I NEVER FORGOF HOW MUCH OF A JERK YOU ARE!

Harsh words bby how can you be so harsh?

URGUH! UR THE HARSH ONE NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY I CAN HEAR MY PERFECT GRADES SIPPING DOWN INTO QUICKSAND ALREADT!  
*she punshes him but he doesnt buge*

Hold on bby ur not geting throgh that door until you make a little wager with me!

UR SOOOOOOO MEAN!1! IM NOT A SINNER LIKE YOU SATAN ILL NEVER MAKE A WAGER WITH U NO MATER WHAT IT IS!

What if I sed youd just have to win the scool beuty contest and in xchange i let you throgh?  
*he pulles out a scroll with a contract on it. _ sign here it says*

NOOOOOOO! evrywon nos im gona win it anyway but i dont want to sign ur stupid contracts SANTAN!

well then your not getting throgh this door little ms gody to shoes!

UGH FINE  
*she signes it with perfect pretty pink caligrafy dotting the is with little nekos shaped like hearts*

xellent bby you can pass now  
*a evil wide grin hapens on his face*

Death jumpes past satan and throgh the doors to the scool and she runs down the hall  
he comes up to a door that says COMMUNISM 101 on the front of it and slides the door open

Late again mrs death?

You know im always fashionably late mr Lenin sama  
*she winks*

Even tho he got ready so fast this morning she still looks more beautifl that anyone else in the class all the boys couldn't stop there eyes from staring at her hot body. and even someof the girls to

stop trying to rattle me bones with ur eyes boys! i no im bootiful but youll just have to stay back bcuz i have a BF and hes the best so if you try anything funny u better watch out!

take your seat ms Death

*she does*

back to the lesson. well be reading the communist manifesto today class bcuz its my favorite book.  
*ahem*  
chaper to: the Booswa Z and prolatearitite in 1946 the communist blah blah blah blah blah blahblbhal bhalb hlbhalb halb

Later

11:00 AM

The lunch bell rang all through the scool

death went into in the cafiteria and sat at the cool kids table next to her bff fireplace sempai

OHIO DEATH CHAN!

FIREPLACE SEMPAI!

Then the to of them do a bff hug but fireplace gets a little frisky and copes a feel of deaths bone

AAAAHHH! Fireplace sempai!  
*he slaps her in the faces*

*she similes*

then god showd up

God! its so good to see you!

I no baybay i love u to

Then thay proceded to make out

Mormonism class was sooooooo long! it was like a temporal dilation or something! why did u even invent mormons anywasy?

dont worry about it babay i love u

ur the best bf i girl could ask for god

than they kissed even more  
SUDDANLY TWO BOYS JUMPED ONTO THE TABLE WARE DEATH AND GOD WERE MAKING OUT  
It was Satan and the businessman!

Hahaha! god we chalenge you to a duel! we meet after scool

dont do it god! satan is up to one of his dirty tricks again i just no it!

sorry baybay but i have to do this.

Nooooooo!

it is my destiny that i fight him. also i wouldnt mind beating up the businessman to. i never liked tht guy.

so do you accept?  
*santan grins*

yes

death sobs because she dosnt want her bf to have to fight him bcuz she nos that they are to evenly matched. she is so sad that she runs out of the room crying bootiful black tears.

wait babay come back!

but she didnt come back she just kept running and she ran into the woods and she missed her memory 101 class but she new that the teacher would give her a a+ becuse she is the most beutiful so she kept running anyway

running

running

running away

she never came back


	2. Chapter 2

Death was running throgh the woods and she never slowed down bcuz she has no muscles only bone and all throgh the woods there was a silence only broken by the sound of weeping. as she traveled the trees she passes went from pines and conifers to wilows and tall bluewoods which are like redwoods but blue  
Sudanly! she bumpes into another girl crying and running throgh the woods. the girl was crying blood and had dark ebony black hair and pale white skin and a black dress and highlights in her hair and she kinda looked like Amy Lee

Ow! whach were ur going u goth poser FREAK!

Your the one whos a poser! with your skeleton bones and ugly pink hat!

HOW DAAR U I AM DEATH HERSELF AND U DONT WANA MESS WITH ME

Whatever poser! you dont know true pain like i do!  
*she wips the blood tears of her face*

THATS ENUFF!

Death draws her Stythe and twirls it around her. the energys flow over ehr and she transformes! her body glows white and her clothes disapear (sexily) pink ribbons float around he and surround her body and they wrap around her hands feet body and head turning into a magical white and pink dress and beutiful pink boots and gloves and a death symbol appears on her top hat. his stythe turnes red and white like a barbershop pole and had a pretty pink bow one it and thhe blade turns into a communist flag! then her bones stop glowing and she is evern more beutiful that she was befor!

The vampire goff girl sees this transofrmation and bgeins one off her own! she raises here arms to the skys and six beutiful evony wings sprout from her back and surround her body. the winges absorb into her and she grows ten feet tal and she glows black with purple highlights and red at the tips of her lims. Her mouth opens and to huge fangs sproun out dripping with blood and her hair grows ten feet long and a sword appear in her left hand and a axe with a razer blade for a axehead in her other hand.

IM GOING TO REAP U U FOWL BEAST!

YOULL NEVER REAP ME! I HAVE THE POWER OF THE GOFF AND YOU CANNONT WIN! EVEN IF YOU R DEATH HERSELF!

The vampire witch girl swinges her sword at death but she jumpes to the side and locks her sword down with her stythe! she swinger her axe at death but she flippes out of the way just in time! death pulls of the bow on his stythe and it turns into a huge pink chain the she throws around the huge goth witch vampire girl. it wrapes around her and holds down her arms

RAAAAAAAGH!

Ha! i got u u goth girl u will never excape the chains!

HAHAHA THATS WHAT YOU THINK

the beuatiful goth vampire witch girl with blue eyes summons to razers into her hands and the slits her rists and the crimson blood coats her whole body and she turned into a mist of red blood. The chains could no longer hold her.

What!?

The vampire girl reappeared behind her and sunk her huge fangs right into death!

HAHAHA! NOW TO DRAIN YOUR LIFE FORCE

hehehe

huh? whats funny?

oh nothing. its just that ur draining the life force of death herself so think about that for a second!

OH SHIT AM I GONA DIE!

yeah probaly

the too girls just stood there for like a whole minute or something and nothing happened.

i guess draining your lifeforce just doesnt do anything!?

i gess so

The pretty vampire goth girl removed her fangs from death and untransformed back to normal. DEath also untransformed.

so why were you crying anyway only posers cry

u were totaly crying to!

Was not! i only cry blood and that doesnt count

whatever goth girl!

your just jelouse of my goffness since goffs are so cool.

no! but i do think ur pretty

thank you. i mean its only natural to call me pretty since i am the most beutiful goff woman in the universe and if i didnt hate everything that isnt goffic with a passion then i would say your pretty to.

thanx i gess

the girls started to wader off in a random direction. neither of them knew where they were or how to get to there respective homes.

um so how did i end up in this weird foresty place with blue trees?

i dont know im trying to figure out how i got here to.

well then i gess im stuck here with a pretty goth lady then

im bisexual you know

really? also whats the point in telling me that?

yep and because shut up dont question me

the girls walked for a little while longer and then death tapped the goth girls shoulder she turned around and when she did death kissed her on the lips.

UGH GET OFF ME YOU SKELETON POSER

but it thoght u said-

I HAVE BOYFREND U KNOW!

SO DO I but they dont have to no about this

They there lips sensuously touched  
They never stoped makeing out


	3. Chapter 3

Back at Blood Neko Kawaii High god was finishing up his last class for the day knowing all along that he would have to face his rival after scool.

the clock struck 3:00 PM

everyong was gathering around the scool fighting grounds even the nerds and preps. there were students from all sorts of different clubs around cheering on one of the two fighters but not the businessman becase no one likes him

god god god!

satan satan satan!

the crowds cheered in anticipation of the arivall of the too rivalls

god showed up then and half of the students cheered out a heavenly chorus of cheering the kids from the blacksmithing club handed him his golded spear with a lightning bolt tip newly refurbished . the other half of the studenns bood god and slowly chanted the name satan becasue the satanist club has a lot of members

SUDANLY a dark mist of blackness ouzed out of the ground and it formed into satan and then he ajdusted his tie because he always fucking does that for some reason

the blacksmithing club also gave Satan his weapon becasue of fairness it was a elefant ivony trident with a swirlling blood red orb on the end with spiked black leather wraps the handel all the stanist club members chanted louder and louder ad cackled with angry pride for there master

so it finaly time for us to have this fated duel satin

yes it is you knew this day would come just as much as i did

everyone chanted fight fight fight!

are you ready?

yes.

then let us begin!

satan hurled his trident toward god but he only had to doge slightly too the left to avoid it then the trident stuck into the gronud whitch ouzed black smoke. god held his spear be his side and dashed toward satan but when his spear reached the evil students neck he instantly disappeared and reappeared next to his trident and he picked it up

ready to try that again big guy?

enuff talk dark one ur rain over the scool must end!

god flippes his spear around and thruts it into the gronud causing a shockwave of holy electricity wich is like normal electricity but more powerfull. satin did a bounding leap abouve the shock wave and as he twilled throgh the air his form warped into a big black crow covered in spikes and black liquid and he flew up higher and higher then god called down a nimbis cloud like in dragonball Z and rode it up to chase him the sudannely satancrow dived down toward him at full force and his mouth opened to reveal a black crocodidle head wich thusly spake

YOU SHALL NEVER DEFEAT ME O BRINGER OF LIGHT MY MIGHT IS TO POWERFULL

Nonsence! good will alwasy triump over evil!

they continued to charge toward eachother until they met and god pierced straight throgh satancrowcodile without a scratch and he disolved into a thick black liqid wich covered the gronud below

no it cant be this easy

he floated back down to near the gronus on his nimbis cloud ready for whatever trick satan was up to.

shown urself coward!

then the businessman showed up for the fight late because he had to do a literal ton of paper work and god instantly smote him with his spear he was so preocupied with smiting the businessman that he didnt even notice satan reforming from the black go behind him. he tuned around to find satans trident right up against his neck!

u vile coward! tricks like this are why the just and true hate u and only scoundrels do your biding

another rightious speech told even when at the tip of my trident? must you do this every time we meet?

hold ur tounge fowl creature!

fine! have at you!

satan thrust his spear toward gods neck but he made a mistake. he made a powerful strike that took a tiny amount of time to wind up bofore the hit but gods reflexes were fast enough to avoid certain death! the too were on even playing ground once again. they stared at eachother for like a solid minute. and then they both charged at the same time. satan swung his trident low god jumped and swung high satan limboed back god did a downward slash satan rolled out of the way! satan quickly got off the gronud but it gave god just enuff time to get in a hit! or so he thoght satan caut the spear in his teeth wich then burned and sizzled with holy energie the dark student widely swung his trident at the light one and he doged out of the way disloging his spear from satans teeth.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!

satan let forth a demonic howl and his teeth fell out only to be swiftly grown back much sharper. he then spit a black loogi at god but he didnt even need to doge it becase that wasnt even a magical atack he just spat at him.

HOOOOO HOOO HOOOO HOOOOOOOOOWL!

satan howled like a wolf and grew black bat wings and sharp claws and he charged at him with the force of a b-52 bomber but god set his spear against the charge and the too of them clashed and clashed and clashed and fought for an eternity


	4. Chapter 4

We return to Death who was just slapped in the face and left for dead by her new vampire wich goth friend becase she tried to get a little to sensuous and she was like no way and slapped her and ran of deeper into the woods.

wah! why does nothing ever turn out right for me!

Death cryed and ran throgh the woods wiout looking again for what felt like hours. just running among the weird trees and a ever increasing amount of unusual flora like glowing mushrooms and hanging vines and brown pinecones littered the grond

oof!

she bumped into something it was a pile of garbage bag that seemed to pile three storys high at leats!

im just garbige anyway so i mightas well stay here and never go home!

she moved a few bags out of the way and found it led too a secret entrance and inside she saw many odd junklike objects hanging from the low ceeling. as she loked around in bewildersment she heard a voice call out

Hahahahahello!

she turned to see a wierd legless foxman holding the tip of a huge metal spike thing that looks like it might be the front of a plane but the back is covered in garbige and surrounded in metal scraps

who r u?

im a foxy man!

yeah...

haha!

rite coud you get out of here cuz im gonna live in this garbige now and ur to gross u gota leave

this isnt garbige this is my home! that hole you crawled throgh is my front door. this scateboard there is my transportation unit this peach here this is my hat! ahehehehehrm! PEACH HAT!

A moment of silence

are you a princess?

im Death herself but im not a princess

aheheheheeha you should have a goblet of wine

that not a goblit of wine thats a half os a tenis ball full of blood wats rong with u?

aahahaheheha! you like my joke?

no. im gona go now cuz ur a freak

look no no! I didnt always use to be a freak. perhaps if you heard my story youd understand me more

i dont really like storys

its got pictures with it and animation

ok FINE if its a cartoon ill watch it but then im gona leave bcuz ur not kawaii and u smell

ok lets have fun

the wierd foxman hits a button on a video player that shows a film and the foxman narates thusly

**once a upon a time their was a fox and he was called fox**

**he lived in the skys in the lylat system**

**his friends were slippy the tennis frog and falco the racist falcon**

**they spent there days flying down the lazy rivers of corneria town**

**ocasionally he would eat a cucumber sandwich and sit under mr willow the tree**

**one day wilst relaxing he found a copy of fornax magazine it was in a bush hehe!**

**and he read an aritcle about citidel life**

**he read it over and over and over and over again and over and then decided he was gona go to the citidel**

**his freinds said no you cant go but he decided he was gona because he was a willfull little fox and he sent off to the citidel**

**three weeks later he was off his tiny face in the afterlife club hoo hoo! the fun fun times for him!**

**but the party lifestyle took its toll eventually he ended up on the streets begging for cheese in the slums of omega**

**that fox my friend was none other than me**

**the star fox**

whatever its not like i care im gona leave now forever. by

ok if your going then can you do me one last favor?

what?

bludgeon my face in. kill me. pull me apart like soft bread. punch me in the tits. destroy me. twist my head clean off. put me to sleep with your kind boots misses fancyman

Oh ummm ok

and then Death took her stythe and reaped him soul out of his body. she absorbed it into the orb on the back of her stythe and she left the star foxs house and never returned


	5. Chapter 5

Death was wandering throgh the forest of wierd things when she noticed that hte trees around this part of the forest seemed to be made of some wierd matereal and more and more of them had pink or purpel masses of somkind of fluff instead of leaves. even the ground seemd to be made of this unusual matereal. she was wandering and wandering and eventully he saw a light throgh the trees and at last she could see the open sky! The colors where so bright and vivid and there was a sweet aroma in the air and she was in a little outcropping of trees

hello there!

there was a little man that looked like a gumdrop standing there in front of her with a basket full of pink fluff and twigs form those wierd trees.

hello little guy im lost can u help me find my way home

no

... really u cant? what why not

im busy foraging but you can probaly find somone else in the kingdom who can help you

the kingdom? what kingdom

uh the candy kingdom. this is the candy kindgom. wow you really are lost

ok can u point me in the rite direction?

he pointes toward a way and death can kinda see the shape of a big white tree peeking out from abouve the treeline

goodbye! I hope you find your way home

thank u!

she starts treking through the woods again, but this time it only takes a minute or to too reach the point were she is out of the woods. she comes across a mote and the drawbrige is down so she just walks righte in. there are a ton of guys made of candy in here like lolipops and choco bananas and stuff

this place is wierd

she cam up to a banana guy and talked to him

hey banana guy!

what?

can you help me find my way home?

absolutely citizen we keep the peace

some babana guys start chanting keep the peace keep the peece

ok so yeah where are you from?

my name is Death and im from a town called mespeth and i go to blood Neko Kawaii high scool and i am the most beutiful girl in the scool and my bf is god and mespeth is totally the most sugoi town in all of japan!

uuhhh

some banaba guys turn towards eachother and they say

do any of you guys know where that is?

a chorus of nos cries out from the nabana guys

were going to have to sent you to a higher authority to sort this out

so they went up a a flite of stairs to the entrance of a huge palace

wait right here maam

ok

a moment later someone arivels at the door she is a pink woman with pick hair and a tiara and a pretty dress and she says

Oh! hello my name is princess bublegum. my banana guards tell me your name is death?

yes

your not who i was expecting.

the princess pulls out a weird device and begins scaning death from head to tow with it.

what r u doing?

scanning you with my dimensional fluxometer. it detects the presence of particles from other dimensions  
*the thing boops*  
just as i expected.

huh?

dimensional leaks have been hapening all over ooh lately you must have wandered throgh one

oh so im in another dimension?

yes. please folow me

then they walk into the castle and keep walking until they get to a room with a ton of sciency junk. they come up to a big thingy with a platform on it and like a laser thingy pointed at it

ok just step right up here and-

SUDANLEY A GIANT cREATURE PUNCHED THREW THE WALL AND GRABBED THE PRINCESS  
The massave beast was a huge blue monster with spikey head and gloves and his shoes WEAR A REALLY UGLY COLOR OF RED

AUGH! Let go of me ya tranch!

There was a boy with an awesome hat hanging on to eht back of the creature

Ah! Hes got the princess! Man wheres jake when you need him!

Little did he know that this jake guy was stuck in a other dimension at the moment.

this looks like its gona b easy!  
*Death yawnes*

Death twils her stythe around. the transform energy flowes around her and her bones glows white! Hir clothes disappear (sexily) and pick ribbons come out and surround her. the ribbands wrap aronud herhands feet body and head and suddanly she is wearing a bueatiful white and pick dress pick boots and gloves and the Death symbol appears on her hat. Her stythe transformes to . She stopes glowwering and now she is magically transformed again just like last time!

She leans into the air and slices at the beast with his stythe!

KAAATA KOOOOOOO VAAAAAAAASSS!

The beats gargles out a load roar that sounds like words kinda. Then its legs start moving crazy fast and the ugly red shoes that are totaly a fashion foe pa turn into a blur because their so fast!

Whoaooah!

The boy with the cools sword on the creatures back falls off

Oof!

COME BACK HERE U UGLY SHOES WARING MONSTER!

Dang that thing is fast. Oh. who are you?

im Death hi. i no my bones are so pritty but dont try anthing bcus i have a bf u no and he will WRECK UR SHIT

Whoah i just asked your name calm down  
*he blunshes a bit*

IM CONPLETELY CALM UR THE WON WHOS NOT CALM!

ok so we should produbly get going if were gona catch that thing and rescue the princest  
Princess i mean

so then the too of them heros chased the huge blue blur across the woods which were all made of candy. they came to a field of grass that wasnt made of candy and the sun was shinning really bight at them. like really bright really.  
They didnt see anything there was no sine of the monster. only they hear a cry out

YUUUUUUUUUR TUUUUUUUUUU SLAAAAAAAAW!

Then a loud

AAAUUUUUUUGH!

And then a faint SCREEEEECH! like a bird streetch not a people screech

and then the princess floow towards them on a bird with the manster caught in a science ball

Whoa princess. you caught it alreasy?

Yep. punched it right in the badoinkadoings

Math

Ok so take me back to my world arleady gurl!

Aight. get on lets go

and so they flough back to the castle and the pincest teleported Death backe to his own dinension.

So princess. did you notice anything about that death girl?

ya fin. i noticed her smoking hot bod and i would totaly hit that if i wasnt in a commited relationship with marceline now.

oh. wait what?


	6. Chapter 6

Death had just rematerealised out of thin air. she was back in her home dimension again!

Horray! i luv b ing in my home dimenstion again!

so he went out of the forrest and ran back to Blood Neko Kawaii High as quick as she could. which is really fast be case as previsly mentioned she has only bones and doesnt need muscle  
She arrived at the scool fighting grounds to see something SHOCKING!  
she looked on in complete surpise to see that god her very own bf was comiting the worst sin of all

O MY GOD GOD! WHY ARE YOU MAAKING OT WITH THAT POSER FREAK SANTA!

Gad and Satan scramble up from off the ground and stop makingout with heach other.

i can explain babay

NO U CANT! how DAAR u cheet on my! I WOULD NEVER DO ANYING LIKE THAT TO U!

no babay i can explain

NO SHUT UP I dont wana here it!

but babay just let me explain

NO GOD SHUP UT I DOW NOT WANAT to LISTEN To U!

but babay listen

And they went so on and so forth for exactly 17 hours three minutes and twenty seven milisences  
and theyn thusly god spake

babay im breeking up with u

Death was so heart shattered that he had no words in her mouth at all. none. not a single word.

b- b- i-

The words wouldnt come out of her face. she had NO WORDS. NONE  
And so she ran. She just ran away.  
God looked on as she ran with hevenly sorow ih snis heart knowing that they must both move on.

Death was running away. just running and runing like she all the time does She ran down the streen past her scoolmates houses and all the way to her mother senced her sadnes and gave hir space to greeve .with his head hanging low and with a single tear she sauntered up to her only safe heaven . That is her mind was drenched in greef regarding the events that had tramspired and she flung open the door to her room. the poster of Carl Marks flutterd as it came fact to face with the door. In the shade of night the gorgeous pink walls seemed to amlost fade to a somber periwincle just then she picked up her diary

Deer dieary the most WORST ThinG haPPENs today! god lost his faith in me  
*she drawes a sadd Death with her heart being stabed by satsan and god sharing the nife*

she undressed and planted her face into her hastune miku bodypilow and crye so hard that she would never wake up again


	7. Chapter 7

It was a day without sensuousness wen death came down that day. the sun hid betwind couds wich were dull and grey and all the love ing the air was gone.

Death sat in her bed staring at the celing her pink hair stil as baeutiful as ever glistend with the light of the new day. she didnt want to roll out of bed she didnt want to start a new day she didnt want to look over at the clock she dint want to do anythinge ever agan.

10:01 AM

a knock is heard art the door to her room.

Death honney are you okay in there?

A little moment of silence hapens then death lets out a week responds

shut up mom. u dont undersand

is there anything i can do to help deer?

no. just go away

alright  
*she sighes*

I few moments pass and death rolls out of bed. her bedhead is almost as intense as the sent of the sented candels that her mom was bruning that she always burned when she wanted ot console death chan. but they never make her feel any better because she seriously doesnt understand her at all shes kind of a terrible parent.

Death dons he clothing and slips out the door.  
Her mom hands her her kawaii bento box without a word.  
As death walks she has to make such an effort to raise each leg again and agan

She arrived at the scool and walked up the steps where she saw satan and god playing makingout. when she saw them she didnt even react.  
she walked into Communism 101

A little later than usual today, ms Death

*she says nothing she just goes to her seat*

A few students in the class start whispering about death chan

Right now back to the matter at hand. Class open your Communism 101 books up to pg. 284 and start reading from blah blah blauh lbuha bluh buh blah

meanwile Deaths bff fireplace sempai was out behind the scool smoking. she skipped class sometimes but thats just what cool kids do.

Later at Mormonism 101 there was more temporal abnormalitys.  
after a while Some students started to notice and started whipsering to eachothe.

Hey is mr Smith sama lecturing for longer than usual?

yeah this doent seem right

The clock read 1:15 PM

Whispers were sipping through the lips of students all over the class room.  
Then the president of the Mormon club chimed in saying

nothing weird is happening its just that mormon class is so wonderful that it seems to last forever!

im flattered ms crocker but please. no more interuptions when im teaching.

*she nods her little mormon head*

Death didnt notice any of this she wasnt paying attention

5 hours of mormonism class later

the clock reads 1:17 PM

A boy in the class is counting the seconds on his hands.  
*it doesnt add up he muttres under his breathe*

He stands up shoving his desk away

Theres something seriously fishy going on!

sit down mr strider!

No! I will not sit down! this is a temporal travesty! just look!  
*he points out the windoe*

there is a bird out there flapping at the speed of a fucking snail armada! Now im gona find out who did this and stop this nonsense!

Everybody in the classroom gasps and stares at the bird. even death takes a look

its gotta be you! Your doing this to further your mormon agenda!  
*he pointes at crocker*

Why i never! how dair you acrust me of damaging the fabric of time

all the other mormon club students stant up and ssay yeah!

your not behind this then whats that around your neck?

Nothing! its nothing its just JEWLERY

oh yeah? then why is it GLOWING WITH TIME ENRGRY

ENOUGH! MORMONS ATTACK!

i knew they had a secret agenda  
*then he pulles out a floating turntable and a sord*  
Two can play the time game!

Then a ton of his time doubles phased into reality and the two forces mormon and dave strider had a massive brawl!

Death left the room. she hadnt recoved form the breakup and she never will


	8. Chapter 8

fuck


	9. Chapter 9

Fireplace was just chilin behinde the scool and smooking wen a student came up to here and askes

Can i join you for a wile?

sure kid slong as you dont rat me out to the princeapple  
and dont tell my kohai death chan either she doesnt like it wen i smoke

Cool

hey do i no you from someware?

Yeah we both go to memory 101 class  
youre names Fireplace right?

yeah thats my name but i dont no yours

My name is Life chan but you can call me life

haha thats funny death and life  
my bff and my new aquaintanse

life was wareing a backpack and took out a pack of hot dogs from it. firplace sempai seemd intrigued. life then picke stick and inpaled a hogdog

May i?

oh uh sure.

and then life reeched over and roasted the hodogs over her beutifull flame

so they chiled and chatted for a wile and ate hodtogs. they became friends soon an d had fun.  
then the scool bell rang

aight i gotta go to Metalurgy 101 class

Ok see you later fireplace chan!

meenwile Santanism 101 class was starting  
the room was dark. Dim candies lit the room goat blood was smeard on the wall in pentagrams whitch are very satanic and sixograms wich are even more staanic!

Good afternoon class

GOOD AFTERNOON MR CROWLEY tey all say

Now class today wheel be lerning about sumoning rituals.  
The first step to a sucsessfull sumoning ritual is to acquire a proper sacrifice  
*he pulles out a goat*  
Now does anyone know what we do to prepair a saccrifice?

Ooh! ooh!  
*atudent raises his handes*

Yes drako?

Take the sacrifigial dager and cut the throat then make a pentogram around the sacrifise

Close. but you forget one thing mr malfoy. this will be a Mark an your permanant reckord  
*he pulles out a set of forks and sopons and slat shakers and ladels and other cultlery*  
You must ready the proper utensils!

*drako sites down with a pouty look on his faces*

all throughout the class drako was broodig and asgnsty he wantes to slit his rists

theyn Suddanly! God entered the calssbroom with santa raped around his arms. he locked different somhow his glothes were all black and he had fishnet on and eyeliner! drapered around his form was a cloaks with a satanis sixogram! wen he entered the class everyone cheered WOO!

meewnile in Weight 101 class the students war lifting many pounded weights and did lots of excorcise the floor was metal the walls had pinup posters of ladys. the hole classroom was full of sweat and grunting. Mrs Riveter was teachin gabout bicep barbells.

Allright class who wants to give a demonstration of the proper technique for the biceps barbells?

many studdents rasie there hand but one raises his huge muscular arm higher than all the others .

Allright Chairnoble show us how its done!

in mother rusha weight like this is nothing we lift ten times this in bear covered winter  
*He graspes the bicep bearbell and rasies it midway*

the students have a surprised look on there faces for a moment. Will he not lift the weight? is it really too much for him?

only a moment later all of there disapointements were shattered like a tiny glass spider under the crussing wieght of the communist agenda. his muscles bulged for a fraction of a second and then the forse of his lifting was so powerful that a sonic boom issued forth! it rippled the posters it shattered desks it blew everyones mind and even flayed the hair off a mouse! everyone was in awe including the mouse and even the pinup ladys! The barbell hit the hard stone ceeling of the room SO HARD that blood was leeking from it

a moment of silents happen. then. the hole room filled with applauds even Mrs Riveter clapped. THEY HAD NEVER SEEN A NUCLEAR REACTOR LIFT THAT MUCH BEFORE

Well done chairnoble! you get a A+  
*she putes a little smiley star sticker on his chest*

Chairnoble then beams with rushian pride

SUDANLY SOMTHING BURSTS THROGH THE STONE FLOOR OF SANTANISM 101 CLASS! It slammed right up undernear the goat sacrifice and the blood started leaking through the floor. a look of surprise filled the faces of all i nthe class even Mr Crowley. THEY HAD NEVER SEEN SOMETHING BURST THROGH THE FLOOR LIKE THAT BEFORE

I will not stand for this in my classroom! Satan go sort out this ruffian wile i continue class

sure thing mr crowley bby.

ill go to

nono god i can deal with this on my own you just wait here and b beutiful bby

ok babay i love u  
*he blowes a kisses*

Satan then melts into a mass of black ooze that writhes like a sixtopus and slipps down into Weight 101 class

the whole room gasps when they see satassn reforuming into himself.

helooo weight 101!

Satan! What are you doing hear!

o nothing mrs riverter just dropping by. say u woodent no anything about a barbell smashing throgh the floor of Satanism 101 wood u?

the hole class is silent. they have a looks or resentment on theyre faces

o? no one is going to speak up? well then ill just have to give u some incentive

satans form ripples and shifts and from beneath his feet a massive beasts of black ooze bolts out at speed unimaginable for something that size and swallows a student hole. it then recoils back into him.

is somone going to tell me or do i have to continue?

Chairnoble stands

i-

No

Mrs Riveter holds chairnoble back

Ill handle this.  
Satan! You know your breaking the rules now right?

is that so?

Yes! in your contract with the scool section 7 subsection 3b it states that you cannot devour students or faculty members yourself or by proxy!

true

Then youve broken the rules!

or have i?

What do you mean?

i havent devoured anybody my beasts mouth was a portal.

Not to your realm i presume or youd be breaking section 6 subsection 31a

haha youve read up on my contracts well so youll no that i was fully within my agreement to sent him to the pit of mt st helen

the hole class is paralysed with fear.  
exept for chairnoble!

IT WAS ME

o?

I LIFT WEIGHT FOR CLASS AND BREAK CEELING. your wantink to kill somone is for me i am one you want

well now that wasnt so hard was it?

Satans form rolls up like a poster and and a 8 foot raven with bulging muscles and eyes of fire and feathers dripping with black oil rips out from him and lunges for chairnoble! He meets the beast with more forse than a scool bus filled with lead rolling down a rushian mountainside.

HA! I wrestle bigger than this every day for to eat breakfast!

*a concerned look briefly filles satnas faces then it turnes to a smirk*

The raven is almost pinned by chairnoble but it slippes out of its skin and fifty beaks of steel erupt from its new skin. the feet burst and writhing maggots take theyre place the eyes bleed out little demons which is then eats and its muscles ripple and grow for each one.

Hmmph!  
*chairnoble assumes a sumo stance*

The beast charges him! once again he meets it with powerfull force. He turnes to his classmates

NOW IS BE TIME FOR LEAVINK. GO!

All the students and Mrs Riveter rush out of the class wile the beast is preocupies.

The beasts back erupts with black blood and unbelievably sharp claws emerge.  
it thrusts the claws deep into chairnobles body!

ha now i have u right were i want u

HAHAHA!

what why are you laughing bby?

Because you are be not knowink what happens

no! i no xactly what hapens ur gonna be defeeted thats what hapens

just then the raven screams and cunvulses with pain and retracts its claws. they are melted by intense radiation!

WHAT!

HAHEHEHEH! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE ONE WHO WILL BE HAVINK DEFEET

Satan looks at himself. he is bubbling with boils from radiation poisoning! he looks over too Chairnoble who is standing triumphantly over the corpse of the raven beast.

AAAAAGH!

And with that scream stan makes his leave throgh the classroom door crying.

a moment later chairnoble shouts to his classmates outside

YOU WILL BE NOT ENTERINK CLASSROOM FOR WILE. RADIATION IS TO STRONG  
I LEAVE NOW BUT WILL RETURN WHEN MY WOUNDS ARE HEALED

then he exits through the wall and is never seen or heard from again.


End file.
